We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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