I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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