under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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