she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
