My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
