Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
