He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
