pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
