people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
