Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
