Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
