so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
