Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
