There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
