at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
