.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
