well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
