she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
