Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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