Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
