I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
