We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
