My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
