Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
