we made out on top of his cat.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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