my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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