So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
