Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
