At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
