At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
