you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
