when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
