You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
