i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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