I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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