even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
