My nipple is on Facebook.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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