I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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