Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
