would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
