They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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