Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
