Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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