just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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