sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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