i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
