PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've blown a few things in my day
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
