is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
