2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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