Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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