I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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